Pirate Clothing: Avast Ye Mateys!

C'mon ye worthless sea slugs, get that treasure chest up here on this beach! We've got to get it buried before the sun comes up. I don't want no royal ships of the line seeing what we're up to! We stole this here gold fair and square and once some time has passed we'll all be splitting it up. Even shares for every man, 'cept for me, cause I be the captain. C'mon ye maggots get yer backs into it! Bring forth the shovels and get to diggin'. This sand ain't gonna dig itself!

Hey there, wait a minute—who in the name of Davy Jones' locker might ye be? I never saw ye before a day in my life and mark my words lad, I ain't speakin' no lies. What's that? You joined the crew the last time our ship made port? I be unaware of this. Well let's have a look at ye.

I don't understand what ye be wearing, boy. Ye be callin' these drabs ye be wearin' pirate clothing? What are those things on yer legs? They are all faded and blue. They don't even have any holes in 'em. What did you call them? Blue jeans? Are ye mocking me boy? Any pirate worth his salt knows that if ye are going to sail the seas and come onto an island to bury treasure, ye be needin' the right pirate clothing. Get rid of those “blue jeans”; ye'd be better off wearin' something like these here pirate pants.

What are those things on yer feet? Skechers? What the blazes is a Skecher? Seems to me like ye be the one who is a Skecher, with the sneakin' on board my ship and what not. In all yer life, have you ever heard of anyone use the word Skechers and pirate clothing in the same breath? How are those tiny things supposed to keep yer feet dry when the wind sends all manner of sea water over the size of the hull? At least put on these here pirate boots so ye look like you have some sort of clue as to what pirate clothing should be!

As soon as ye get finished diggin' this hole and fillin' it back in, we're sailing back to port. The moment we hit land I'm takin' ye straight to PearsonsRenaissanceShoppe.com so we can find ye some proper pirate clothing. It appears I have to do everything if I want it done right. Now quit yer sulkin’ and get diggin’!